1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
