party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
