Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
