You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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