Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize