:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize