So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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