your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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