WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize