Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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