im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
