Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize