we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
