and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
