we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
