Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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