thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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