i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
