Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize