Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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