She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
