talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
