i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
