I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
