Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
