discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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