hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
