Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
