and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
