dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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