only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
