belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
