yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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