Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
