I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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