See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
