how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
