Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
