I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
