it's like iHOP with fire
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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