just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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