I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
