I think I am morally bankrupt
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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