Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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