she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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