Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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