Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Terrible idea I love it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
