You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he thought i was a dude.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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