she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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