im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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