So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
