You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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