we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
should my penis look like a turkey
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
