I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
