Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
