I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
