you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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