The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
