I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I still have a little drunk in my system
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
