I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
