Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
