maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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