its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
