Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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