I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
