what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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