fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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