So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
