you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
