I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
