Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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